In this case, the old I'm ringing out on this New Year's Eve is someone I've been friends with (I thought) for 5 years.
I had major surgery in August, and people I barely knew stepped up to drive me around, take me to the store, etc. D. didn't even call (or text, or email) to say hi, how are you. Every time I tried to ask to talk to her about it, she blew me off. So I finally wrote her and told her how hurt I was, and asked one more time to talk.
She replied that she'd had a "trying" year too and was sorry, but she couldn't offer any more of herself, so have a nice life.
I don't understand how you can just toss someone to the side of the road when you have a history. I don't understand how you can be selfish enough to treat people like dirt. I don't understand it, period.
I read something today that fits: You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one. So I'm going to try to move on. But I'm going to grieve a little first, and be angry.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Saturday, November 8, 2014
How to Deal with People Who Drive You Apeshit
As I see it, there are three ways to handle annoying people (h/t to TB for the categories):
Ignoring them, for me, anyway, rarely works. It particularly doesn't work with PR people, who will send 82 pitches asking if you've received the last 81. Apparently there is something in PR people's makeup that makes them either preternaturally optimistic or terminally clueless. If I didn't answer you the first time, I'm not going to answer you the 82nd time, because I really, really want you to go away.
Pawning the hopelessly annoying off on someone better equipped to handle them is difficult, but if you can manage it (and the pawn-ee doesn't object), it's a good way to go. As with any area of life, there are some folks you just aren't going to get along with. Making them somebody else's problem can make both of you happier.
Making them cry is not something I'm particularly proud of, but if you push me to my breaking point, it's likely to happen. I'm sarcastic and bitchy at the best of times (even though my friends will tell you I'm secretly a marshmallow. Only my body qualifies for that description, IMO). If you continue to act like you are the only person I have to spend time on, you are, sooner or later, going to be the recipient of my wrath and my mouth. It's ugly. Don't do it.
I wish I were an easier person to get along with. Someone once described me as a "prickly pear." It wasn't a compliment. But the truth is that I walk a fine line between being able to function in the world and just having to blow up and let the morons have it. I'm 1000 percent introvert and it's quite literally painful for me to deal with humanity. (You should see me at parties.) I never married for a reason. The cat keeps me warm at night and doesn't talk back, and that works nicely for me. I'm happy to try to work with you, but you need to work with me too.
- Ignore them.
- Pawn them off on someone else.
- Make them cry.
Ignoring them, for me, anyway, rarely works. It particularly doesn't work with PR people, who will send 82 pitches asking if you've received the last 81. Apparently there is something in PR people's makeup that makes them either preternaturally optimistic or terminally clueless. If I didn't answer you the first time, I'm not going to answer you the 82nd time, because I really, really want you to go away.
Pawning the hopelessly annoying off on someone better equipped to handle them is difficult, but if you can manage it (and the pawn-ee doesn't object), it's a good way to go. As with any area of life, there are some folks you just aren't going to get along with. Making them somebody else's problem can make both of you happier.
Making them cry is not something I'm particularly proud of, but if you push me to my breaking point, it's likely to happen. I'm sarcastic and bitchy at the best of times (even though my friends will tell you I'm secretly a marshmallow. Only my body qualifies for that description, IMO). If you continue to act like you are the only person I have to spend time on, you are, sooner or later, going to be the recipient of my wrath and my mouth. It's ugly. Don't do it.
I wish I were an easier person to get along with. Someone once described me as a "prickly pear." It wasn't a compliment. But the truth is that I walk a fine line between being able to function in the world and just having to blow up and let the morons have it. I'm 1000 percent introvert and it's quite literally painful for me to deal with humanity. (You should see me at parties.) I never married for a reason. The cat keeps me warm at night and doesn't talk back, and that works nicely for me. I'm happy to try to work with you, but you need to work with me too.
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