Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tales from the Bullseye

Random weirdness that I jot down to comment on when I have the time:

-- If you've never seen me before in your life, you're younger than me, and you don't have the personality that will allow you to get away with that sort of affectation, you had best not be calling me "dear."

-- Corollary to the above: If you've never seen me before in your life, and you insist on calling me by name, repeatedly, just because you can read my nametag, you are a guaranteed annoyance.

-- Corollary to the corollary: The military guys are always just polite as hell, and don't even make me feel old when they call me "ma'am." THAT is more acceptable than "dear," or than plays on my name that amuse you because you clearly believe I haven't heard them all eight hundred and forty-two billion trillion times before.

-- People who come through the "10 items or less" lane with 72 items should be summarily executed. It's no more fun on the other side of the register, particularly because you get to look out onto a sea of irked people.

-- Apparently every pregnant woman in the greater Rochester area shops at Target North. Why they are all also buying KY and condoms I am not altogether sure. It may have something to do with the fact that they all seem to have a passel of kids already.

-- Dude: I closed last night too, but you don't hear *me* telling people to "have a good night" for the entire  *day* when I come in at 9 the next morning. Fewer drugs, more sleep: It's a good thing.

-- Packages of undies that announce in bold caps that they are "WEDGIE FREE!": Too much information? Discuss.

-- Exactly what kind of person finds it amusing to buy a Halloween costume for his or her dog? How is that not animal cruelty? Inquiring minds want to know.


Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Man. I wish I could pay you for your insight/comic relief!

One thing I really appreciate about you is your perspective. In so many ways, you remind us that every story, every interaction, has two sides. I try to be friendly to cashiers (what's the PC word today?) but I usually don't think much about them. Or at least I didn't until you started at this job.

Thanks for keeping my mind working!

CAC said...

:-) Thanks.

Someone who came through yesterday and asked if I had to work Friday said she thought everyone should work retail at some point in their lives, just so they'd be kinder to the working stiffs. I wanted to reach over the counter and hug her.

I also always tip spectacularly well, especially if I'm making some poor kid come out in the dark and snow and whatever, because they earn it.