I attempted (note I said attempted) to take Latin in 12th grade. I lasted 6 weeks, I think. But Mrs. Mary Alice Daniels -- who had a nameplate on her desk stating, "MA Daniels, MA" -- was better known to the kids as "Attila the Bun." She was rude and snarky, had hair past her butt, when she let it down, and her favorite thing to say when some dolt (like me) finally had the light come on and get it was "EUREKA! cried Archimedes as he stepped into the bathtub."
Well, eureka, my friends, because I have found it. After centuries -- nay, millennia -- of mankind trying to prove the existence of god, I have found it. And so I give you: SUGAR-FREE PEEPS.
This would be even better if I had read the damn label before snarfing one. They may be Splenda-ized, but they still have 23 total carbs (how, I'm not sure) and no fiber to speak of, so each one costs me 2 carb servings. I only get 15 a day.
I wonder how well they freeze.